surviving urban life, how about you.1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of
me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either.
Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of days at work or car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
18. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
I believe I have finally become a bit jaded, my cynisim has gotten the better of me today.
